Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm really busy with my period
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