So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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