Michael Bay diarrhea
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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