Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
