Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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