it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
