maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
