i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My ass is underappreciated
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
