Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
