Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
