I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
