I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
