He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
