honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
