Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
"it" just moved
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
