he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
