He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
