people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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