of course. lets lasso hookers.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
