I didn't shave. On purpose
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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