theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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