i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
