And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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