thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were destined to go to rehab together
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
