I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
