i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
