I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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