BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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