your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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