Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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