I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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