At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
