My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
