at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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