When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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