Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
