people are starting to question the shark bite story
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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