I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
