i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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