make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
