His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
