I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
