I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
