Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Randomize
