My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
