He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
