Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
