Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
