everyone is single if you try hard enough
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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