you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
