me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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